how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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