she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
