i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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