yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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