it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
