She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
