If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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