I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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