Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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