you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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