so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
