Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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