I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
