how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
