Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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