She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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