Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
only you would photoshop your dick
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
