making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
