i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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