she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
