is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
