i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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