Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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