I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
