Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
