***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
