Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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