Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Who died my cat blue again?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
