this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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