he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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