Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
