So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
