you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
my liver is dry heaving
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
