I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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