listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
