Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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