ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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