Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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