I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
