hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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