i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
