New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
