remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
