thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
