I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
