ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
