Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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