the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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