ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
are you so shy because you have an std?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
