i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
