sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
