So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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