In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
